WANTED

                           Start Date: Yesterday

           Job Type: Friend/Amigo/Confidante/local real person

           Job Status: Full time (24/7, available by phone, text, 

                email, or physically in my kitchen)

           Category: Volunteer, unpaid, but many great benefits*

Job Details

Seeking a full time Friend, available at any time throughout the day, 7 days a week. Telecommuting is acceptable.  Must be available by phone, text, email.  Must live on Cape Cod, not "over the bridge".  (Long distance employee positions are all full at this time).  

Position Overview

Responsibilities will include both physical appearances and phone support.  Previous experience is necessary.  Honesty is mandatory, especially if I have food stuck in my teeth or a booger in my nose.  Must own a cell phone and be able to text. Because if you can't text, well... you probably can't find me and this position will be a mute point.

Duties include hanging out with me in public locations (shops, cafes, restaurants, waterfronts).   And taking calls and answering texts from me.  Computer skills aren't necessary. Must have a sense of humor, and easily amused.  The more juvenile and inappropriate, the better. 

General Support

Must enjoy drama. And drama is condoned and appreciated.

100 % Vent worthy. 

Organization skills not necessary. However dependability is a MUST. If you say you're picking up my kids, you can't forget them.

Assist in helping me remain sane when I have a "Crazy Mom Moment" and want to blast my child's teacher for some ridiculous reason.  

Manage my moodiness when I probably need to "get out", when I will insist I need to "stay in".

Strong skills in the 3 C's: Calm, cool, and collected.  You will need  to have a level head when I am acting like an idiot.   The ability to take constructive criticism, but also return it; and sugar-coated, preferred.  

Benefits

You will build (with experience) a life time friend that will be there for you too.