Coffee Talk: Keeping it real on moving to the Cape

    Ok, so put your coffee down, let's talk frankly here. From mom to mom, or mom to parent, we gotta help each other out.  I'm going to give you the skinny on moving to Cape Cod.  All the things I have figured out, endured, heard about, whatever, I'm going to tell you.  So if you're not moving here and/or you got this all figured out, feel free to "move" on.  I hate wasted time (my #1 pet peeve), so I definitely won't waste yours. BUT, if you are considering moving here and you're currently sitting in your driveway surrounded by moving boxes, awaiting the moving truck, this could benefit you.  I mean, don't you want to know what the heck is going on here?  I did (and still do).
    I'll try to keep it simple so you can skim through as desired.  Also please note: this post is my opinion, and the opinions of others I have chatted with. I am by no means  a professional data collector or elected town official.  I am simply a mom, trying to figure out what's best for my family and myself! So grab another cup of joe and let's get going.

    Kids:  If you're moving with kids, there are some things you need to know.  Moving is already complicated and intense.   And then you add kids into the moving-mix. Well, hold on to the roller coaster of your life now!  But let's just start with simple things first:  research, research, research.  Are you exhasuted already just thinking about houses, towns, schools, friends, activities, sports, people, grocery shopping, and where the heck is Target?!?  Slow down, honey, take a breath. It's going to be OK. Let's categorize the important areas and start with that. OK?  There is pretty much everything here that you had before, more or less (no Targets, unfortunately. You gotta go over the bridge for that.)  But as far as clubs, camps, sports, organizations, the Cape has it all.  No worries. Let's start on where you are going to live.
   
   House/Neighborhood/Subdivision?:  Again, if you are moving with kids, move into a neighborhood.  You need neighbors and other kids around.  You may be in love with that single, solitary beautiful house on the hill overlooking the lake with lots of green space.  But you will be missing out on potential friends while alone up there and kids moping about bored without kid-contact.  You need a nearby local to give you some insight to your new environment.  Not having fellow kids for my two children to hang out in the afternoons and weekends has been a drawback for my family.  My neighbors back in Georgia were my closest friends and the people I relied on for help with kids, advice on home repairs, etc, and gave us that sense of belonging.  It's an instant way for you to connect to your new location.  If I can push anything, this would be #1.
   


   Towns:  There are approximately 16 towns and they are divided into sections on the Cape based on their location from west to east.  If you look at the shape of the Cape, it will help you.  Imagine Popeye flexing his arm, but without the bulbous bicep muscle.  Boom. That's the Cape. The Cape is divided into 4 parts:  Upper, Mid, Lower and Outer Cape.  These determine where you and everything else is on the Cape, so you need to know them.
   Upper Cape (the "bicep"): Bourne (just before the bridge), Falmouth, Mashpee, Sandwich, and Woods Hole (towns directly over the bridge).
   Mid Cape: Barnstable/Hyannis, Yarmouth, and Dennis.
   Lower Cape (the "elbow"): Brewster, Chatham, Harwich, and Orleans.
   Outer Cape (all the way to the end): Eastham, Wellfleet, Truro and Provincetown.

   Town selection:  Ok, this of course is tricky. You may already have a job, and you'll want to be close or live in that specific town.  A quick lesson on the Cape: the closer you live to the bridges, the more kids, more school options, extracurricular activities for kids, sports, shops, businesses, etc.   The further away, well, you get the picture. It becomes more isolated the further out you go.  Lower and outer cape are gorgeous, don't get me wrong.  But you are limited on schools and families nearby for you.  Again, don't take offense, this is all a matter of opinion on what kind of comforts you are looking for in a home and community. Each town has a totally different vibe than another.  I'm not going to go in too deep on descriptions.  But in brief, Upper and Mid Cape are busy busy with life and action.  Strip malls, restaurants, churches, CVS and Rite Aids, are all aplenty.  Lower Cape is a little less busy, more small town vibes in each town.  You might have to drive a little further to grocery shop or find a gas station. But there are more Conservation and Wildlife Preservation areas.  Outer Cape gets pretty remote Wellfleet to P-Town.  But some people feel this is the true Cape.  It's less inhabited by people and more so with birds and wildlife. Beautiful beaches and nature paths for bird watchers and explorers.  Provincetown is very different, being it's the tip of the Cape and is packed with shops and restaurants, whale watch tours, Pilgrim Monument, and art galleries galore! This is the artists heaven and haven.  Fantastic for touring and spending the day.  But family life here with kids I would imagine would require miles of driving back and forth.
 
    Schools:  Told you I was treading deep here. Ha! Ok, so.....  again, if you have already purchased or rented a home, you will be looking or have looked around already.  There are public schools zoned to every town, and honestly, I don't know much about the public schools before the Lower Cape.  Sorry.  If you have any questions about Monomoy area (which is Chatham and Harwich combined for Middle and High, email me.  Or if you want to know about the Nauset schools, which are Middle and High School for the Outer Cape).  If the public schools you are zoned for aren't making you jump for joy, guess what?  No worries.  There are options!
     School Choice is when a specific school (elementary, middle and/or high) has spots available for students outside their town and choose to open it up for other students to apply for in a lottery fashion. First come, first to get the spot, when the official date is set.  But this is school optional. A school can choose if it wants to allow this or not.  If you are interested in another school, I would call the school in January and see what they are going to do.  The Lottery process (or the standing in line at 5:00 am, yes, I'm serious.  But it's worth it, if you really want that specific school) is normally in March.  But I was still able to make the change in May.  (I got lucky.)
     Private/International/Charter/Religious Schools:  Yes, yes, yes, the Cape has these options. I personally don't know much about these schools, yet.  But I've "heard" they're all wonderful: the charter schools (in Harwich and in Hyannis) and the Catholic schools in Yarmouth and Hyannis. Here are some names of some I know off hand:
   Charter: Cape Cod Lighthouse Charter (Harwich)
                 Sturgis (Hyannis)
   Private:  Cape Cod Academy (Osterville)
                 Falmouth Academy (Falmouth)
                 The Laurel School
   Religious: St. Francis Xavier Prep (Hyannis)
                 St. Pious X (Yarmouth)
                 Trinity Christian Academy (Barnstable)
   There are many more, these are the ones I have heard about through other parents who have children that have gone to these schools. There are also schools for Special Education as well (Brewster, Falmouth, and Orleans I've heard are good).
    I know I am probably not touching on a lot of important info on the schools here, but I am still new and opinionated on the little I know and in the area I live in. But rest assured there are options and you'll find something that will fit your child. At least to get you thru until you can do more of your own investigating. Each child is very specific on what his/her needs are for education. So I can't tell you where to choose. Where my son goes is probably not where I'll want my daughter to go. They're different students, if you know what I mean.

Off Season/High Season:  Ok, so go ahead and embrace you live in a vacation destination.  The Cape's #1 money maker is to be here for tourists and summer vacationers.  Summer until early fall is the crazy, insane time where the Cape is crawling with people from all over.  This period keeps the Cape thriving and making it's money so during hibernation months it can rest quietly with some honey in the pot. People will work nonstop for 3-4 months, 24/7.  And during these months you will encounter people from everywhere, everywhere on the Cape:  roads, beaches, parking lots, Stop & Shops, etc. But the Cape becomes alive and happy.  Vacationers are here to have fun and relax.  But .... I guess if you have to get somewhere, all of these people  can get annoying.  Just plan accordingly: if you need to get on Route 6 on a weekend (which I would not advise, at all. That's when vacationers are coming on and off the Cape), leave early.  This high season is from late May until September.  Then everything just slows down, normal pace.  By late October and November then it becomes a ghost town, with restaurants, shops, summery fun spots closing down until next year.  And that is nice too. You can claim the Cape as your own, parking wherever your little heart chooses, going to the beach any time you want. It's really not so bad.

Permits:  Beach and Transfer station (trash dump/recycling)  You'll need one for both.  Each town sells beach permits for beach parking and transfer permits for garbage and recycling.  Check out your town's Chamber of Commerce or Town Hall to see where to purchase these.  You can certainly buy daily or weekly parking to beaches, but it's more cost effective and easier to buy a year round pass.  Most beaches after 5:00 will let you park there without a sticker.  Or if you know you love a certain beach, you can buy a season pass for just that beach (like the National Seashore).

"Over the Bridge" hang ups:  Haha.  Ok, so Cape Codders are totally out of the loop as far as city traffic.  (my commute in Georgia used to take 1 hour and 15 min. at least: one way).  A long drive to a local is 20 minutes or more.  So for most people that live from Mid Cape to Provincetown, they don't, won't or refuse to go "over the bridge".   But if you're like me and used to being in your home's taxi service for all sports and activities, a drive over the bridge ain't a big deal.

Weather/Wind:  The Cape is in a constant state of windy.  Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter, it all comes with a tall glass of wind.  So get used to it. In the summer it's nice, feels good to put on that sweatshirt at night.  In the winter, it can be near deathly.  The summer and fall are the BEST seasons to be on the Cape.   So wallow in these months and be glad you didn't have to drive over the bridge and back to enjoy a small dose of it. You get to experience these at the fullest extent from outside your front door.

Not just retirees live on the Cape. TRUE, this age group dominates the Cape. However, we, the younger ones with children, stay put year round. Retirees and those with 2nd homes here, come and go frequently.  Again, stay closer to the bridge, and it won't seem as off balance. Or, don't let it bother you. It doesn't bother me. Those older and wiser ones are normally the people that are the most informed and most helpful and are thrilled to see us living here.

Local Proud:  Young and old, Cape Codders know their area.  And they're proud of it.  They take pride in their environment, actively pursuing ways to preserve the beauty and health of the Cape's existence.  They are local proud people.  And they're happy to tell you what they know about the Cape's indigenous people, the history, the islands, etc. I am enlightened every day by a new bit of Cape trivia. Cape Codders live for loving their land.  Not only do they talk about it, they do it.  They inspire me to care more about what I'm doing to the world around me.  Transforming talk into action is the hardest part.  They have organizations, charities, events year round for giving back.
    "Live Local" are on bumper stickers everywhere.  There's a big movement to keep money and shopping on the Cape.  For locals to agree to come together to shop "local" at the local mom and pop shops to keep the Cape thriving. I really love this concept. I'm not a huge online shopper anyway.  But that is what this means.  Step away from Amazon and instead drive down Route 6, 6A, or 28 to any local business for your shopping needs.  We will all feel the benefits!!

Helpful local websites and publications:  www.lovelivelocal.com is a fun, easy website about all the local happenings and cool information.  These 3 local ladies really have their act together and present their website in a chic fun irresistible way that you totally want to do everything they suggest! Current Quarterly is a seasonal guide to (my favorite thing) shopping on the Cape. You can either pick up an issue at many local shops or go to their website. Cape Cod Life is a aesthetically mastered magazine you can either peruse at your leisure online or subscribe to and enjoy flipping through while you sit in your hammock on a lazy afternoon (that's exactly what this magazine encourages you  to do).  Cape Cod Times is the Capes local newspaper (again online or tangible).

Shopping (food, clothes, etc)  Stop and Shop, Christmas Tree Shoppe, Shaws and the U.S. Post Office have become my regular shop rotation.  If you need a Target-ish shop, you have to go to Hyannis, where there's a K-Mart (yes, 1 still exists, and it's here).  There's also a small mall there too (with Gap, J Crew, Children's Place, Macy's, etc.)  If you want similarly nice but outdoor shops, you need to go to Mashpee Commons (in Mashpee).  On a beautiful day, you gotta at least check it out. It has the same stores (Gap, Banana Republic, etc. etc.)
     But if you really need more,  guess what you'll have to do... drive "over the bridge".  There's a Target in Wareham.  In Hingham, there's a big outdoor shopping mall area, called Derby Street.  There are also outlet shops around too, in Wrentham.
     I must give a big shout out to the U.S. Postal Service here on the Cape.  Whichever town's post office I go to, there's rarely a line, the people are helpful and I am in and out in less than 10 min.  That's beyond amazing. I have never had such stress free experience mailing packages and buying stamps than here on the Cape.  No more UPS or Fed Ex stores for me!

Lighthouses, Sharks and Whales, oh my!  Along with sailboats, anchors, scallops and black dogs are the recurring motif/mascots of Cape Cod.  If you don't own a shirt, rug, necklace, pillow, tattoo,  placard on the side of your home with one of these items on it, oh you will. Go ahead and accept it.  It's fine.  Nobody is judging.  It's a silent club you gotta buy into.  It's contagious.

  Did this help a little? I pray I didn't waste your time, piss you off or really discourage you from moving here.  If anything, hopefully I gave you a tiny bit to chew on in the meantime to get you settled.  And  remember you never really know a place until you are there in the flesh living it.

Good luck moving, packing and unpacking and enjoy the ride (no pun intended)!  You're in for quite a unique adventure.

.... stay tuned for more to come...