NEWSFLASH... Cape Cod Freeze: The Newly-found Friend Deficit Disease afflicting Cape Cod

    This just in:  "Unofficial, yet cape-wide syndrome: The Cape Cod Freeze, now found to have affected thousands of Cape Codders. But as we are now just learning about this epidemic, researchers have discovered it is only affecting those who live on Cape Cod year round, who call themselves "locals" and more seriously "natives".   Victims are unaware.  They are living amongst us unaware they have been infected.  A common symptom is to feel unaffected. Other symptoms are antisocial-socialness, cliquishness, hob-snobbery, conversation removal, & whiplash.  We have a wash-ashore, year-rounder and self-prescribed psychologist on hand who has been reasearching this epidemic and is prepared to give her side of the story.  Here to give us the full report, Dr. MK."
 
 "Thank you, Jerri.  And I appreciate the title, and I do feel qualified to discuss the issue at hand, but no need for the "doctor".  Ahem, so yes,  I have been following this case for over a year now.  Not knowing this was an actual condition, I was perplexed as to what was happening around me. I am not talking about the weather. This is a social quandary.  Like a phobia.  Being new to Cape Cod, in conversing with the people of the Cape, I was instantly struck how nice the local people were, but abundantly unfriendly.  As if they were afraid  of making new friends, to add new people to their social circles was physically impossible.  I found this social paralysis extremely  perplexing.  Where did this come from? Is it contagious? Is it in the water?  Or worse yet, originating in the local Cape Cod breweries and wineries?  I was frightened but I knew I must get to the root of this."
  
  This sounds concerning, MK, do go on.

   "Yes, thank you, Jerri, it is. But let me emphasize that this is not contagious.  If you are vacationing here or only live here a few months out of the year, you should be fine.  What is concerning is that those who are afflicted have no idea they have it.  I'm seeing cases as recently as 10 years since moving to the Cape.  But the more serious and severe are those who were born on the Cape, or have ancestors dating back to Billingsgate. They are blinded by the "Freeze"."
   
  What exactly is "the Freeze"? Can you please explain this so our viewers can completely understand the brevity of this situation?
 
  "Absolutely.  I myself actually learned of this term from a vacationer visiting Cape Cod. We were chatting and she asked  'How did I like it on the Cape?' (Being new myself to the area, I had been asked this many times and have the same answer every time) "The Cape is gorgeous, scenic, relaxing, etc. But the people suck.") This vacationer was not shocked and nodded in serious agreement.  'I know exactly what you are talking about.'  I felt I needed to further explain my position, "People on the Cape are very nice, helpful, happy to give you advice, and are overjoyed to pass on another potential connection's info.  But they themselves have no desire to be your friend.  You know extend an olive branch and actually get to the personal level."  The woman nodded, "Where I am from, we call this The Freeze. But I was under the assumption it was an isolated situation in my city only. This is a bit shocking.  When I first moved a few years ago, I would meet people in all the normal places: at work, at the store, next door.  We would talk,  and I'd feel like I was making a connection.  It would be going well and I would think, 'great, this could be a friend-opportunity' and of course I would anticipate the exciting 'We should get together' question."  It never happened.  Ever. With anyone. They'd freeze up.  No exchange of numbers, no initiating, no interest in including a new outsider: Therefore "The Freeze".'
   I was flabbergasted that there was a name for this, like a condition or even a disease.
  To further my studies on the Freeze, I began to take closer look at social interactions amongst the locals.  I can confidently say, the hundred or so people I have spoken with and interviewed, all agree that this Freeze is a fact.  One native agreed and described it as defense mechanism:  "territorial".  (Who knew the washashores were thought to be attacking? Interesting.)
   I delved further. Another local, who has lived here for over 12 years said she too experienced the hardships of becoming a Cape Codder in the beginning, sympathizing with shared frustration.  She said it took her years before this "freeze" sensation wore off in the groups she was encountering on a regular basis and eventually made friend contact.  (So it seems as if persistence is an antidote?) But then something shocking happened: Suddenly, she abruptly quit the conversation, announced she had dinner plans with friends, and left. Had I just witnessed an actual Freeze in action? Yes, yes, I had. The same symptoms were here in one perfect study: Chat, relate, and then 'see ya'.  Totally unaware that within the 12 years of living here she was now affected. I felt bad for her. I really did, Jerri."
 
   Is there any cure or treatment for this Freeze? And if so, how do we get it? 
 
   "Good question, Jerri.  Yes, there is, and it's not an easy one.  This loss of brains and shall I say social willingness isn't painful, but the treatment can be uncomfortable, causing varying discomfort to your personal space.  Giving in to the persistence of potential outsiders. Reaching out, initiating, inviting, and possibly being a friend to a new person. Actually looking outside yourself.  It is hard for some people to see that people need people, a tribe, a posse, a sister or brother-hood.  Humans weren't meant to stand alone."

  Amazing and frightening. This treatment sounds extremely difficult. I am a native Cape Codder and what you're suggesting, sounds impossible.  Is there a helpline or a website you can be found for those needing more information or Freeze-therapy?

  "Absolutely, Jerri, and can I say that I am free after this interview if you would like to chat? We can get a coffee at the Snowy Owl or wherever is convenient?"

  MK, why thank you so much for the personal invitation.  But I regret I can't. I, uh, have another important and unavoidable obligation.  But I'll look to your website and inquire soon.
  Please check back on our continuing coverage on this baffling new condition affecting so many potentially lovely people on the Cape.....